Tonight I just played my heart out. Played every piece of music in my book bag. Every time I get lost in stress or anger, if i just sit and play for a few hours, it makes everything better. Music is like my masseuse.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better and things will work out better than they did today.
I’m screwed. I’m completley and totaly screwed.
You know why?
Because I’m nice.
Because I’m nice, and I care about everyone else but myself.
And its biting me in the ass, once again.
It was me being nice and caring about what other people needed before myself that got me here.
And now everyone just walks all over me to get where they need to go. I should have been an asshole like every other group leader and demanded everyone be there when I wanted and how I wanted. But I didn’t. I should have been selfish and said I needed them more than everyone else did. I should have not given a shit about anyone else but myself and my needs. Because that’s what everyone else did.
But now I’m here. Alone. In this big ass hole.
And nobody gives a shit.
Why does nobody give a shit?
Because that’s what average people do. Unfortunatley, I’m not average.